Arguing with woman and why it doesn’t work!

As the title suggests today am going to talk briefly about arguing with a woman and why it ultimately gets us guy’s no where in the long run. But first off guy’s am not saying that you should let a woman or anyone for that matter walk all over you, or disrespect you in any way and then not stand up for yourself’s because you should, you need to communicate in a loving manner like an adult if someone you know or maybe your other half is not treating you in a way that you deserve to be treated.

Because when you are with a woman you want to communicate your want’s and need’s and if she is doing something to walk all over you or be disrespectful or she say’s things like “Hey am gonna call you in an hour and I will meet up with you, or then she doesn’t or she flakes out, or she say’s am gonna bring this over, then she comes over and she totally forgets to bring something over that she said she was going to do, or whatever it happens to be. Then you just need to let her know that it’s not acceptable to just say something and then to just blow it off like its nothing. And just communicate that to her in a loving manner.

But with that aside am talking more about how guy’s typically react when they get involved in an argument with their girlfriend. And the thing you have to understand with woman is which I have learned is that when there upset or there hurt about something they resolve their problems and their differences and there hurts by talking about them and relating to each other. When there out with her girlfriends that is what they do, they share there pain, they share there story’s and they bond together that way. And then when you get a guy in the mix and he listens to this, he thinks to himself that he has to try to fix this, or I gotta be the solution to this, and all they really want you to do is sit there and shout your fucking mouth if i may add, and to just listen and authentically be present with them and try to understand where there coming from and why they are expressing what they are expressing.

And guy’s think there trying to win an argument, and thing is when you try to win an argument with your girlfriend the reason women get more and more pissed of the more you argue is because she is trying to explain to you in a way that emotionally relates to how you’ve hurt her feelings, and by explaining this to you and by you sitting there and just listing to her and taken this in, and every so often repeating a little bit back to her that communicates to her that you are actually listing to her, and then being man enough to realize when you mess up and to say “you know what” I realize¬† what I did was stupid or I acted immature and I realize now the way I said, and the way I reacted that it hurt your feelings and am sorry it wasn’t my intent and I understand why I did what I did and how it hurt your feelings.

It’s not a combat or a competition that is something you have to win guy’s because like I said what you really need to do is just to sit there and listen. Believe me I’ve spent my fair amount of times arguing in my past and most of the time it just ended up making the situation even more worst, and what well happen often is your girlfriend or wife well just end up crying and it just creates this emotional distance between you and her. There where times in the past maybe I would get all defensive when I was in an argument with a girl and try to put my point across and try to get the better of the argument or try to win it and that just would not work because woman are emotionally based where us guy’s tend to use logic and reason and the two just do not go together well.

A perfect example would be where you might say to your girlfriend remember when I did this for you, or I did that for you, when you’re trying to reason with her about something she said to you about how you’re treating her now

but all she really cares about is how you’re showing up now and acting in this moment in time.

The purpose of all relationships are supposed to be that you go there to give. Your supposed to meet each other’s needs and to help each other grow and become more. The way I look at it is we are supposed to be a team, and we are supposed to help one another in reaching a conclusion together whatever perhaps we are talking or fighting about, that is how I look at it anyway. And when two people argue its usually a result of a failure to listen. And typically nine times out of ten when a guy argues with a woman like I said he is trying to prove he’s point to her by using logic and reason and if she is upset and she’s crying its because you have hurt her emotionally in some way that has caused her to feel like when she tell’s you about it you’re using rationalization and thing’s and trying to say I did this, or that in the past or whatever it is, or why you’re trying to argue, or why you think she is wrong. And you have to understand guy’s that she is coming from an emotional place and you’re trying to use logic and reason and that is why it just makes it worst and you end up not getting anywhere.

Now if your girlfriend or spouse on the other hand is shouting at you and it’s the case where you’re not shouting at her,then you need to just say hey look am not shouting at you and I would appreciate it if you lower your voice and not shout at me, and if you cannot do that then you just need to say to her “Hey look” you’re being rude and unless you can communicate in a loving manner am going to leave and when your ready to be sweet to me again and communicate like an adult then get back in touch with me, because right now your being rude and so am walking away. So it’s that simple guy’s and so I hope this article has been of some value to you. If you have any thing you would like to say then please feel free to leave a comment. In the meantime stay tuned for more coming soon.

yours truly

Calvin

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3 thoughts on “Arguing with woman and why it doesn’t work!”

  1. Great post! Communication is so important and it involves both speaking what is on our minds and listening to the other point of view. It is true that sometimes a woman just wants to be able to vent and be heard, but she should also state if that is the case and not assume that the other person knows that is the purpose of the conversation.

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